Please Help Me!

by Jamie Amerson
(Calera, Alabama USA)

I lost custody of my child in 2005 because of drugs. I went to rehab and took all the drug tests and everything required by DHR and the GAL. It took me two years a month and a day to finally be granted custody of my first born. My husband went to prison because of a drug related incident that's why it took so long. Anyways, we worked together for the next two years raising our child and had another baby boy. My husband went back to jail when our second son was six months old because his father went to the DA of Shelby County, Alabama and made a false report that his son tried to kill him. My husband was already a violent offender so this made his previous split sentence void causing him to return to prison for five years. I moved in with my dad and step mother and I never really have gotten along with either one cause I was not a favorite. Anyway, about three months after living with them I had a tooth surgically removed and was given a prescription for the pain. My half sister called DHR on me and told them I was driving around erratically with my children in the car. She later revealed to me that my father had asked her to call because my step mother wanted the children to live with them and she wanted my gone. I took lots of urine drug tests on color code with only a few that were positive and four hair follicle tests the were negative. A year later my father left my step mother and we lived together in an apartment for two years. I was going to college and basically did everything for my children and my father never had to do anything. All he did was party and I am the one who would find him passed out drunk in his truck and would make him come inside before my boys school bus came by. I never took pictures or anything cause I loved him. Well everything was fine then one day DHR calls saying I had to start drug testing again cause there was an anonymous report made, which was false, so I started color code again. Soon after all my tests were negative they then required me to attend outpatient rehab which required 30 dollars a drug test on top of my already twice a week 20 dollar color code. My father told me since we lived together that he would take custody so DHR would leave me alone and I could finish school then I could get custody back. He told me that he didn't care what the court papers said he considered him and I to have jointed custody. So we signed the papers at DHR in agreement with the GAL present and the next day we waited at court till the judge signed. I had a final and my court appointed attorney asked the judge if it was ok for me to go take my test since we already had an agreement drawn up. The judge agreed and when I arrived home I asked my father did anything change and he told me no so I didn't bother reading it. After a couple months later my baby girl was born and I was at my oldest son's soccer game a day before Easter waiting on my dad to arrive but he never showed. My step mom who he said he was divorcing asked me if the boys could spend the night with her and the love there grandma so I agreed. As I was driving home my dad calls me to say that he has packed everything and was moving out and taking the boys with him. I got back to the house and most of my things and there things were gone. I was still on maternity leave and it was two weeks before bills were due again. The next two weekends he let the boys come stay the weekend with me, but the third weekend my boys locked there self in my Corolla and would not get out. So my step mom and biological father decided that it would be better to keep them away from me. I looked in the court order only to realize when I left to take my history final my father changed all the things we had set. It went from unsupervised to only two visits a month. My signature wasn't on the papers or my court appointed attorney's signature. I tried filing again but our neighbor from the apartments had fell in love with my father and she went to court with him to testify against me. She has since then apologized to me and told me she lied cause she thought he loved her and he had her convinced I was a horrible person. So I an about to file for custody again and don't really have anyone to help me because my father has convinced everyone in my family that I am a piece of crap. No matter what I do or try to do it always fails. I need suggestions or really anything from anyone that might help me fight against my father for custody of my boys. He has since taken me to court for child custody and has me paying four hundred a month. I have gone over and above trying to get my boys back but he wants the money to badly to care whether or not it is destroying my children, me, and their father apart. My husband and I have custody of my little girl and my father called DHR about three weeks ago and made another false report trying to get a case started so he can take custody of her too. Oh by the way, my father never tried to get custody of any one of my children until they were potty trained. I need any kind of advice please. Please help me reunify my family, the way God intended. I am 30 years old and have lived and learned and grown up a lot. DHR has used what I did when I was 21 against me for the past nine years and I cannot defeat them alone they are too strong.

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Maybe Family Support can help.
by: Len

Jamie,

Do you have a case worker assigned to you from a family support organization? Do you think your father is abusing the children?

It appears to me that you all need help, support and advice from Family Services. A GAL may not be fully tuned to your particular situation bu Family Services might be able to evaluate the entire situation and make recommendations to the courts.

I hope others will read of your dilemma and offer their help and advice.

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